October 2021 Equanimity Parami #10
Mindful Monday Meditation class offered weekly from 12 noon until 12:35 p.m. is open to all, by donation (to the Family Food Pantry). We have been meeting weekly since January, 2019.
If you’d like to be on the mailing list for Mindful Monday Meditation, please send your email address to: debennis50@gmail.com. Thank you.
In our guided practice sessions, for 2021 we are exploring 10 qualities of the heart as taught by the Buddha. (You don’t have to call yourself a Buddhist to benefit from this, it is being taught as a secular, non-religious practice and is relevant and beneficial for all human beings who want to create lasting sources of happiness and freedom).
Called the Paramis, these practices help us to bring Mindfulness into all aspects of our lives, individually and in relationship with others, both in our formal practice and in our daily lives.
I am using these sources as references:
Creating a life of integrity: in conversation with Joseph Goldstein Gail Andersen Stark 2020
Parami: Ways to cross life’s floods Ajahn Succito 2012 https://www.amaravati.org/dhamma-books/parami-ways-to-cross-lifes-floods/
A Whole Life Path: a lay Buddhist’s guide to crafting a dhamma-infused life Gregory Kramer 2017
Pay Attention, for goodness’ sake: practicing the perfections of the heart Sylvia Boorstein 2002
For a description of the previous Paramis, refer to earlier blog posts, thank you.
Equanimity
Equanimity is the last of the ten Paramis, and it influences each of the other qualities of the heart we’ve been investigating.
Equanimity keeps us in balance, helps keep us from getting carried away when we’re inclined in a certain direction.
Take generosity, for example. We might be inspired to be generous with our time or our resources, and give more than is ideal or healthy for us. Equanimity helps us remember to approach our enthusiasm with moderation so we don’t overextend or burnout.
Equanimity can be defined as “non-reactivity”, “even minded”, “impartial”, “composed”, and the ability to remain calm and undisturbed in the face of challenges, changes, conflict. This quality of the heart allows us to step back and see things more clearly, rather than getting caught up in our reactions and conditioning.
Equanimity is not the same as indifference which may lead to shutting down and not caring. Rather, equanimity invites us to open to what is with care.
Remembering to bring this quality into the picture when we are overwhelmed will be helpful. It invites us to ask “what is happening here?” and to realize “This is how it is right now” without being identified with it.
We could try the phrase “May I open to this moment fully. May I greet it as a friend” from Sylvia Boorstein, a therapist and Buddhist teacher on the West coast. This creates an opening, a choice point where we can step back and notice rather than continuing on automatic pilot, with a tense body and restricted breath.
One of the ways we can practice equanimity is by silently repeating phrases while we’re walking or brushing our teeth, or sitting and breathing. Feel free to try these phrases, or compose your own:
May I see the world with quiet eyes.
May I offer my care and presence without conditions, knowing they may be met with gratitude, anger or indifference.
May I find the inner resources to truly be able to give.
May I remain in peace, and let go of expectations.
May I offer love, knowing I can’t control the course of life, suffering or death.
I care about your pain, yet I cannot control it.
I care about my own pain, yet I cannot control it.
I wish you happiness and peace, yet I cannot make your choices for you.
I love you, but I know that all beings have their own journey. You have yours, and I have mine.
Meeting situations with equanimity invites qualities of loving-kindness and compassion to arise. When we aren’t busy rejecting or embellishing what is happening, when we allow ourselves to “just be” with it, the heart naturally opens in tenderness and care.
Equanimity, along with the other Paramis, offers us a key to awakening and to liberation from suffering.