Renunciation
This third Parami is often misunderstood, and met with an “ugh”, and thoughts of deprivation.
Before you dismiss it, let me shine some light on the value of this teaching. Perhaps it is more
palatable to think of it as “simplifying” or exercising restraint in our thoughts, words and
behaviors. Rather than being controlled by our impulses and whims, we can stop to consider
“how important is it that I say this, or do that?”
We can notice when we are being driven by our habits and our conditioning, going from one
thing to another without pausing, automatically reaching for our cell phones when we have a
moment of stillness or silence. When we bring curious interest to our programmed ways of
meeting the day, we may discover opportunities to “wake up” and do things differently. As we
do, perhaps we are able to see things freshly, or perhaps we are available to really be present
with our pet or partner in the moment.
Steven Armstrong (a teacher whose talks are available on www.dharmaseed.org ) describes the
Paramis in general, and renunciation in particular, as a practice that is like “rowing against the
current of contemporary culture”. We are constantly conditioned and encouraged to be on the
lookout for “what do I need”? (in order to be happier). There is an assumption that happiness
can be found in consumption; if only we find the “right” thing; meal or beverage or car or shoes
or vacation or song, then we’ll be satisfied.
But how long does that satisfaction last until we’re looking for the next source of stimulation,
accomplishment, and ego gratification?
The practice of Renunciation can help bring perspective to this constant pursuit of our needs,
wants and desires. It can help us Simplify and enjoy what we already have. It can lead to a
liberating sense of not being defined by our desires and habits. Renunciation can free us from
the yoke of our habits and conditioning.
Renunciation Practices can include:
Letting go of having to be “right”, of needing validation for our views and opinions.
Creating “screen free” periods of time, and enjoying life directly, without the interface of an
electronic device.
Noticing the tendency to be preoccupied with “being the star of your own show”. Choosing to
pay more attention to the people and the world around you.
Noticing the arising of desire for things to purchase and consume, and making a choice before
automatically pursuing it. Not being defined or controlled by what we own.
Be aware of negative and judgmental thoughts, and choose not to dwell on them.